LIKE MYSELF IN HERS II

PART II

Except for her mother's absence last night, nothing had changed. She went to bed, not knowing where her mother was. She woke up to an empty room except for her siblings, with whom she shared the mats. It had been a terrifying morning, and something didn't feel right.

This morning was different because, unlike many other mornings, she rose from sleep without seeing her mother, and everything appeared to be fine, but not today. She walked away from her mat and into Boadicea’s bedroom- as void as the Angel's message to the maiden about the tomb. Nothing could have happened if not, the town would have blown its horns like the judgement day. That made her feel better; she knew her mother would be home soon.

It was a Tuesday and school continued. Regardless of her feelings, she wouldn’t miss school unless she wanted to face her mother’s wrath when she came home and found out they had bunked class.

In the silence of the morning, when they stepped out of their room, they saw Aunty Neela sitting aloof in front of her door. She was like the morning and night watch in the house. People wondered whether she slept. They always said the wicked had no sleep, and the community began to think she was a witch. How on earth would she know everything that goes on in the town? Not for once had she missed any information that passed through Fallazi.

Aunty Neela pulled out her chewing stick from her mouth, spat on the floor and back again; she kept it in brushing her teeth with her black dented tooth revealing itself from the lots. Her wrinkled face was the worst the morning could give her. And she never took off her scarf, no matter who asked her.

“Your mother didn’t come home last night, did she?” asked Aunty Neela

The question caught Pauline off guard, and she wondered how she would respond to her. At the very least, whatever she would say would be the topic for the rest of the day. Her face was bowed in fear of the dent. She mumbled her words, fidgeted her fingers, and tried to ignore the question. The worst was that she would spend half her day listening to her jibber-jabber if she didn't answer.

She had to get to school but get past the old lady first. Her imagination ran around in a sprint to answer the old witch. She didn’t want to commit herself. Not for the rest of the day and the day after. While she stood there like a viscountess in her curly hair and brown and white school uniform with her three other siblings, her feet stood cold, and her palm became sweaty leaving her to gently rub off cringing away from the old lady.

“Won’t you answer!?” Aunty Neela exclaimed

“Aunty, leave the children to go to school. They are already late.” An answer came from the far end of the house. That was Nimola, a tenant in the place. Pauline finally released her breath as if she had been strangled earlier. What a moment she had had for herself, as if she stood before a judge, the nervousness and the tense atmosphere. She held Maki’s hands, and they left, but being unable to answer Aunty Neela earlier haunted her. What could she have said that wouldn’t cause chaos in the house?

She knew her mother and the old witch would trifle against each other. Aunty Neela would not be silent, and Boadicea would never be gentle. It bothered her on the way. It kept creeping into her thoughts along the streets. She disliked seeing her mother in a fight – maybe she was tired of witnessing them. She tried to prevent such a thing from happening – not something she would cause. Her mother would be home, and if Aunty Neela wanted to know her whereabouts, it would be best she asked her.

“Pauline, where is Ma?” asked Maki, who walked behind her.

“I don’t know,”Pauline answered

“Didn’t she come home last night?”

“Did you see her?”

“No”

“Then there is your answer.”

“Is what Etor said about Ma yesterday true?”

“What did he say?”

“He said our mother is a prostitute; that was when you came to meet us fighting, “he continued, “I told him my mother is not one.”

​The question struck Pauline – where would she find an answer to this? She fumbled before Aunty Neela earlier and is now hit with this question. She felt the pressure of adulthood, the need to answer every question from the kids. There was only one way, to face the truth and tell them what she knew.

​“Listen to me, you guys,” she halted, turning to them, “Our mother is phenomenal. She is the best thing that could ever happen to us. So if anybody ever says anything otherwise, then that person doesn’t know Mama too well, and they can say whatever they want, but our mother is fantastic and loves us,” she continued, “do you hear me?”

They nodded their heads in sync, which was a relief for Pauline. This time she didn’t fumble. But how long could she keep the truth away from them? How long would she be held in the shadows? Pauline didn’t know anything herself, but she would protect her mother whatever be the reason.

The day didn’t begin well for Pauline. She was ambushed by these questions, which had ushered her into adulthood. She didn’t know if she lied or told the truth. The truth is, she wanted to live like any normal kid would. But it never occurred that way for her except for answering questions meant to be directed to her mother.

The road was filled with voices and the aroma of street food. The feeling of the morning winds blew over the town. It was a new day and the same old Fallazi. Pauline and her siblings walked almost a mile and were getting closer to the school.

“Pauline, give me money before we get to school,” asked Ether.

That was not the right time for such a question for Pauline. She had forgotten to pass by Akuvi’s for money. Moreover, her head was swamped with the earlier interrogation.

“Erm… just go in so I can rush to Ma Akuvi’s place,” Pauline responded.

She left them at the gate entrance and took to her heels back to Akuvi’s end. She could as well not blame herself; the burden of a thirteen-year-old is too much for her to carry. They were loads meant for an adult, but she didn’t mind taking them. Not at the very least that she noticed she was having such a burden. She ran on the busy streets in her flying pleated skirts. Nothing ran through her thoughts but to get to Akuvi’s before she got to the market.

There was something she desired from all – to hear from her mother. And the effort to get to Akuvi was to know whether her mother would be home later tonight. The street was jammed. It slowed her down. She paced slowly through corners and eventually got to Akuvi’s.

Akuvi was locking her door; how lucky she could be as she approached her. She panted heavily, and sweat rained down her skin. She could tear up herself and break down in tears. Her feet were weary, and she looked helpless. That never bothered her, but to ask about her mother and some money for her siblings.

“Why were you running?” asked Akuvi.

“I didn’t want to lose you,” responded Pauline, panting like she needed gallons of water to drink.

“Why… what for?”

“My mother didn’t come home last night.”

“She didn’t?”

“Yes, have you not heard from her?”

“No, I haven’t,” she continued, “I thought she came home.”

“Well,” Pauline’s face fell in disappointment. She hoped to hear something about her mother. That could have brought relief to her. But hearing that Auntie Akuvi hadn’t heard from her, her hopes were crushed. Whatever she felt in the morning dawned on her. How she’d explain would be a challenge.

“Pauline, are you okay?”

“Yes, Ma. Can I have money for my siblings and me for school, please?”

“Okay. Where are they?”

“They are already at school. That is where I am coming from.”

“And why didn’t you pass here before going to school?” asked Akuvi, dipping her hands into her handbag, “Take this and take care of yourself. I will call your mother to know where she is. Then, if you come home and do not meet her, come around and have dinner sent over for your siblings.”

“Thank you,” she responded faintly.

“Don’t worry, your mother is fine. You, on the other hand, should take care of your siblings.”

“Yes, please.”

“All right, run along, make sure you don’t trip and be careful on the road.”

Pauline left her place discontent. That was not the kind of news she hoped to hear, but Akuvi had assured her she would see her mother at the end of the day. Getting to school early didn’t matter to her anymore. She ambled through the corners in displeasure. She couldn’t wrap her head around it except for wanting to know why her mother would leave them to pursue life on their own.

"Does my mother think about us?" she wondered, her heart pounding. She walked down the road and took the road leading to the school. She wanted to sit and relax, but her siblings were waiting for her at school to feed her; that was the only reason she went to school. She lost interest as soon as Akuvi told her the news - it was agonising, and all she could think about was her mother's safety.

As she strolled, a mother with four kids walked on the streets from one of the corners. The woman had the little one wrapped in a cloth at her back, the elderly a step ahead and held the two’s hands. They were about a yard away from Pauline. She loved that a mother took their children to school. She wished her mother did the same.

Pauline followed them – enjoying the beautiful mother-children moment. She relived her life through them as the younger one stopped her mother by the roadside to buy something for her. Pauline paused and watched the woman buy the food. And the other three cried to their mother for some.

It was as if they were vicariously living Pauline's life. Her mother taking them to school was her only fantasy. But that was yet to happen because Boadicea was never in the house, and if she were, she'd say Pauline was old enough to walk her siblings to school.

“Don’t soil yourself with the food,” the woman warned her kid.

She walked alongside them, imagining how her life would have been with their mother. It would be lovely, she thought to herself, and she wished for it. But instead, the woman warned them repeatedly not to walk into the streets. Pauline loved when the woman calmed the situation after two of her children appeared to have argued. The mother comforted the younger one, wiped her tears, and warned the older one not to fight her again.

The woman drew them closer to her and hugged them – as if they were a baby kangaroo in its mother's pouch. The woman held their hands again, and they laughed and moved on while she fed candy to the child at her back. That feeling ran through her veins, and she couldn’t get hold of it. She felt pleased and sad; these mixed feelings filled her up when she pictured herfamily in them and wondering her mother could have been.

While she watched the family, it escaped her that she had to go to school. She had followed them through the wrong route – savouring every moment they shared. Her dream had become real; she didn’t want to lose sight. The excitement that came with it and the memory she would hold unto console herself from being alone. She was not bothered about missing her route when this one had filled her void. When it dawned on herself that she had to get to school, the excitement flashed out like a light, and the only prayer she had was for her siblings to be okay and not sacked for not paying their fees.

To be continued