LIKE MYSELF IN HERS III

Part III

Fallazi was calm from any incident and that was unlikely. There must be chaos in every three to four days to stir up the community. This time, everybody seemed to be focused on their work rather than fishing out commotions.

The community centre radio echoed in every corner of the town, and welcomed the morning with the 6 o’clock news. As usual, the day continued but Wednesday was quite occupied with less people on the streets than the two previous days except for the street hawkers and food vendors.

Pauline, again, woke up to a room without her mother. She rushed into the chamber and this time, a sharp pain flashed in her heart. Fear gripped her like a horror movie and disappointment drew in her face. She did not know where to start from but her inner-self was trying to avoid the tears that has filled her eyes. Regardless of Boadicea’s absence, she’d never spend more than two nights away from her children.

“Where could Mama be?” She thought to herself.

She quickly woke her siblings up and prepared them for school. All throughout the preparation, she questioned her mother’s whereabouts. She would hurry to Akuvi’s end to ask her once more - maybe this time, she could give proper answers.

Pauline had never felt this scared in her life; not when for some time past when Maki had a midnight rash and had to call in Akuvi to assist while their mother was away. Her body quivered in every action she took to prepare her siblings to school.

She was not having it in the morning, planning an escape route from Aunty Neela, avoiding questions from her siblings and hoping to hear better news from Akuvi. She excused herself herself to the chamber and stood in front of the wardrobe mirror. She looked  in the mirror in her neatly-plated school uniform and brushed hair.

“I am phenomenal,” she repeated.

Those were the only words she knew when she found herself in situations like this. She sat on  the edge of the bed and took in a deep breath. She released it slowly and gently opened her eyes.

“Dear God, wherever my mother is, please bring her back to us” she prayed.

Before she would enter the hall, she heard a knock on the door.

            “Pauline,” a voice from the door.

            “Yes please, I am coming,” she opened the door.

It was Akuvi and she had come in earlier to see them.

            “Stop whatever you are doing and all of you should come with me,” Akuvi ordered.

            “Yes Ma,” Pauline answered.

            Ether, help Maki with her shoes,” Akuvi directed.

Pauline could think of nothing but to follow Akuvi. She forgot for a second they had to go to school. Maybe, their mother was around and Akuvi was taking them to see her. She would rather not ruin the surprise by asking her.

            But she felt uncomfortable and her heart raced like she’d escaped from a chasing dog. She looked at Akuvi’s face and it said otherwise - like someone who had cried throughout the night. Her voice kept breaking while she ordered them to get certain things to follow her. 

Pauline knew she might not know a lot but that wasn’t a happy face for Akuvi. She would question her but she feared for the answer that would come. She saw Akuvi holding off the tears that she, Pauline tried resisting earlier in the morning.  

            “Are we not going to school?” asked Fafali.

            “I don’t know.” answered Pauline.

Pauline went into the chamber and got a few clothes for her siblings and packed them in their backpack. Ether held Maki’s hand, and left the room. Fafali put off the switches in the room and also left. Pauline was still questioning herself with what was going on. Akuvi wouldn’t come to their end this early.

They left the house with Akuvi, with Aunty Neela giving them a side eye. Her dent mouth was heavy to want utter but she couldn’t bring herself to it except to watch them pass.

            “I said it, hell is already here for the kids.” Aunty Neela remarked.

They stepped out.  A few steps away from the gutter, the news travelled like the speed of light. The neighbors came out as though a whistle has been blown to know who came out first.

All looked at their faces while they strode their way to Akuvi’s end. It was as though they have seen a strange white man in the community. One could hear the murmuring that ensued between the people while the four little kids walked with Akuvi.

They took the curve to avoid the crowd that came to sympathise with the kids. Pauline began to wonder why everybody looked at their faces in such a sorry manner. She had read between the lines, and noticed, they have become more concerning to people around than usual.

The remarks that came from the people were something they’d never receive on a normal day except to throw insults at their mother for leaving them to survive on their own. Rightly ahead to Akuvi’s house was about ten people who stood there. Pauline couldn’t grasp what was going on except staring at Akuvi to find a clue but she didn’t get any.

They got in front of the house and the people began to shower encouraging words to them. Pauline wondered, looked at them naively.

            “They are very little, how will they survive?” a lady remarked.

            “Don’t worry, we are here for you, we will take care of you.” Another commented.

            “They are just kids.”

It hit Pauline to figure out that it was about her mother. For about a while, she hasn’t asked Akuvi about her and everybody was rather sympathizing with them. She wanted to escape that crowd- go in to see Akuvi and ask what was going on.

But a wailing lamentation came from the house and the voice sounded familiar to her hearing.  She ran into the house and found Akuvi seated on the floor at the centre of the house.  Akuvi couldn’t hold the tears anymore. It was due to come and no other place than the centre of the house when she left the kids outside with the crowd.

Pauline saw the scene and her face dropped like a wrecking ball hitting the ground. She felt heavy in her heart and couldn’t pace anymore close to Akuvi. Her lips shivered like a child with a cold and a tears ran through her cheeks. Words couldn’t come because she knew what had happened. She didn’t want to accept it but whatever she felt earlier that day is becoming real.

Pauline saw a whole view of the house differently when she dropped on her knees on the floor. She wanted to scream but her voice became faint as though she was strangled. An energy was lost even though she had not been told what was going on. She had figured it out and knew their lives are over. She gathered herself and walked up to Akuvi who was still on the floor.

            “Where is my mother?” asked Pauline in her breaking voice

            “Oh Pauline”

And the two lamented on the questions from Pauline. Akuvi held Pauline together, hugged her tightly while she wailed in the compound.  The crowd came in the house with the kids to find Pauline and Akuvi in a weary state. They helped them up to the room with Ether, Maki, and Fafali confused like a puzzle.

Pauline did not know how to tell her siblings about what had happened, besides, she has no idea how her mother passed. Akuvi couldn’t bring herself to tell her when they both burst in tears like infants fighting over food. This time, everywhere was calm, the crying had reduced, and a few people were around. Pauline and her siblings were left in Akuvi’s room while Akuvi attended to the visitors.

Pauline counldn’t stay in the room but step out to see what was going on out there. She came to meet Akuvi and a few of them seating with Akuvi sobbing at every minute. When she turned, her face seamlessly transformed into tears like she has seen the end of the world.

            “Come and sit on here, Pauline” Akuvi directed Pauline to her laps.

Pauline sauntered to her with Akuvi trying to hold off her tears. She sat on her lap, and rested on her shoulders. Pauline saw the faces of each of them and brought fear into her eyes - like the ones  she had when there was blackout and no one around to console her.

It was time to accept that fate and ask Akuvi how her mother passed. Even though she hasn’t been told, she already knew there’s no worst news that would cause her to cry and Akuvi if not death.

The next thing was to know how. Her little self was afraid to ask because she probably might not like the answer. What has she not seen or heard? The good and the bad, and if she finally has to accept that her mother died a shameful death, she would live at peace with it rather than wondering if indeed her mother was phenomenal like she always said she was.  It was harder than she thought it would be but she would ask anyway.

            “Maa Akuvi”

            “Mmm…” Akuvi responded while blowing her nose.

            “How did she die?”

Akuvi was stuck with the question but seeing Pauline’s face. She knew she needed the answer. Pauline had realised the truth, the last thing to do is to deny her truth. Akuvi looked into her pulsating face, reading from it, Pauline had gathered a lot of courage to ask about her mother’s last memory. She saw her ready to accept whatever answer that came, her conscious attention was on Akuvi like never before.

            “Your mother died from a car accident on her way here.”

            “Where?”

            “On the Bakumi highway.”  she continued, “a trailer hit them while they tried swerving from a little girl crossing the road.”

            “When did it happen?”

Akuvi took in a deep breath before asnwering.

            “Last night”

Pauline stood up from Akuvi’s laps and ran into the room. Akuvi tried calling her back but she had already disappeared to the room before she could utter a word.

Akuvi’s room was unlike their mother’s. Hers was a single room with a one large couch and a curtain separating the wooden bed from the living room.  Pauline took Maki and sat down on the couch with her siblings around her.

She could feel a hot breeze around her, and her thoughts ran dark with no idea of what to do. Her mother is gone and none of them had ever known the fathers. She only focused on one thing, and that was how they were going to survive.

            “Is Ma coming to pick us up from here?” Ether asked.

This time, Pauline knew whatever answer she came would not justify their mother coming back for them. She looked at them, how frail they were, and knew there was only one thing to do -protect them at all cost.

            “Maa Akuvi said she has travelled and wants us to stay with her for a while.”

            “When is she coming” asked Fafali

            “I don’t know.”

That answer struck a cord in her heart and her eyes couldn’t hold it. She felt heavy with a wobbling lips. She couldn’t utter anyword but bring her siblings closer for a warm hug.

            “We are going to be fine,” she said.

Noon was already here and Fallazi has had something to talk about. Boadicea’s death travelled so fast that those outside the town came in to offer their condolences.

Akuvi’s house was packed like a crusade with people trooping in and out. Everybody wanted to see Boadicea’s kids and offer help. Pauline and her siblings has had to greet people they’ve never met before in their lives but offered a hand to take care of them.

Pauline witnessed it all the murmuring that went all around the cause of her mother’s death and she couldn't bear to hear anymore lies on that. 

Her face became swollen with anger - like she wanted to burst out something to counter whatever it is that they said about Boadicea. As the day draws to sunset, when Fallazi was nearly shutting down the afternoon, it dawned on Pauline that her mother was never returning from wherever she went.

Earlier in the day, she had hope that her mother would return for all these to end. But, the reality clock kept ticking in her mind and she longed for a stop on that. About half the community came to Akuvi’s end and have left. They were left with Akuvi who for some reason still had the kids with her.

Night had appeared, the skies were darker but not darker than Pauline’s life right now. Her eyes could not issue a blink but her siblings, whom were naive about whatever was going on were rather fighting over the meal Akuvi cooked for them.

Pauline sat on the couch, refusing with her bowl of food on the floor. She couldn’t touch it. Her thoughts were racing, and wanting to know what it was like to be Boadicea. What did she go out there to do to never come back to her children?

Akuvi entered the room to find Pauline lost in thoughts, she had left to attend to the last visitor who came in to pay her respect. 

            “Why aren’t you eating, Pauline?” Akuvi questioned.

            “Where is my mother’s body right now?” she asked, “Is she buried?”

            “No she is in the mortuary?” she continued, “Your family said they would have a meeting and know the next steps”

            “Are we going to stay with our family because I don’t want to.”

            “That, I do not know.”

            “We want to stay with you Maa Akuvi.”

            “We will see about that.”

            “Maa Akuvi,” Pauline called.

            “Mmm,”

            “Was my mother a prostitute,”

Akuvi got hit by the question in the face. But she knew Boadicea, and that was the least she did.

            “No, your mother was fighting against bad people who ruined her life,” she continued, “she was never a prostitute”

            “Do you know what she was?”

            “All I knew was, she wanted justice for her life.”

            “What is justice?”

            “People treated her badly and she wanted them to pay.”

            “Who are those people?” she asked, “did they kill my mother?”

            “That I do not know as well. All I know is, your mother was a good woman and she was fighting so hard to take you out of this slum.”

Pauline took in a deep breath and rested in the couch - that was what she wanted to hear; their mother didn’t die a shameful death. The community had held unto such belief and Pauline would rather quash it before her siblings grew up to hear about the news surrounding their mother’s demise.

At Fallazi, whatever information that was circulated sticks. No matter how uncanny to information was. A few days have passed after the sudden news of Boadicea’s accident and the town dwelt on one thing- she died a sex worker.

Pauline and her sisters could no longer walk the streets without being pointed at a finger. It was rumoured that Boadicea’s family didn’t want anything to do with Pauline and her siblings ans Akuvi decided to take them in. As fate would have it, Akuvi accepted the kids because she never had one on her own, or to say, she would never have one on her one.

But one thing stood different, Pauline defended her mother while she gave her tribute to her mother’s funeral rites. She said,

            “My  mother always taught my siblings and I one thing”

            “And that was how to calm every situation no matter how tremendous it is”

            “She’d say, I am phenomenal”

            “My siblings and I learned that for the better part of our lives”

            “I know my mother was not a sex worker, she was rather fighting for justice”

            “Only that people didn’t know.,”

            “Sometimes, I wished I had a childhood like every other child in Fallazi”

            “But I am grateful I didn’t because Mama taught me how to take care of

            My siblings while she was away”

            “I am like my mother and I am phenomenal and so are my siblings”

            “Keep resting Mama, we are here becoming phenomenal”

It was said that everybody at the funeral ceremony could not contain their tears after listening to Pauline recite her tribute. And it was until then the knew, Pauline was indeed Boadicea’s daughter. 

Akuvi took the kids with her and left the town. And it was said, Pauline lived her childhood dreams again.

The end.

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